Mommy Rescue!!

WARNING: RANDOM!
Honesty. I have always had a hard time being honest with myself, and others. I was going to write, not lying, but then I realized that yes, I do have trouble with lying, although not the kind of lying you're thinking about! I'm such a typical people pleaser that it is  hard for me to want to do anything other than take what people give me and return it with pleasantness (at least on the outside!). I feel like quite the push-over sometimes. More than anything I want my home and relationships to be full of peace, pleasantness, tranquility, and harmony. Recently I had a couple girlfriends over and one of them told the other that she was basking in my tranquility (she'd had a particularly hard day). This is a good thing, except for the fact that I often ignore the signals within that say, "Red alert, red alert! That was painful! Say you didn't like that!" Ignoring those signals plants a seed of resentment that grow into something like the Veggie Tales rumor weed. Big, ugly, obnoxious, and with roots that are deep and established. Recently I've become very overwhelmed with life. I will spare you the details, for they are inconsequential. I have come to a point, however, that I realize that I need to take a closer look at what I'm doing in the day to day, evaluate my motives and who I'm doing it for, and should they be doing it for themselves. Just in the last few days as I've been doing this, I've pulled back from a few responsibilities that I've placed upon myself, and the freedom is coming, I can tell. I'm not out from under the load yet, but it's coming. This is more mental than I think I give it credit. I've been so intent lately on being super mom, wife, homemaker, that the fun has been stripped away. Yuck! THE END!

I love how the Israelites have the heritage they do in the feasts. What a rich tapestry of tradition, that when Christ is at the center, is so meaningful! I want my life to be a reflection of Christ's death, burial, and resurrection, and taking a look at my attitude this last week, you wouldn't see that. You'd see the law. Ewww!

4 years ago today I had an amazing experience. I'd been going through an extremely rough time in my life. Lots of emotional pain, on top of more emotional pain. I was plagued with feelings of rejection, guilt, of self-pity, I felt unloved and unworthy. I grew up in a Christian home and believed that when I accepted Christ at age 4 that the deal was sealed, but my faith wasn't truly my own until this experience. It was in the evening that I went with a friend to a very small gathering of believers, and the purpose was simply to bask in His presence, to worship, and to encourage one another. That night I feel like I truly met with Christ and He showed me, through the remembrance of His precious Word that He had died so that I could live FREE from the burden I was carrying around. The chains that were holding me down were in fact loose and could easily be take off. SO incredible. It was then that I began to grow, and grow, and grow. God drew me closer and closer to Himself during the next weeks and months. That rough patch was turned from an experience that was dragging me down, into a growing experience. I've learned so much about God's character and and about His desire to be enough for me and my every need. I still am still dealing with all of the same circumstances, 4 years later, and feel like the enemy still has the potential to drag me down. This week is a good example of that!!! Tonight I celebrate though! I celebrate in the face of my enemy!  I celebrate Christ's victory! I've been reading through the Psalms this month, and one that I read today fit me perfectly and have me words to say in my celebration!

Psalm 91 (exerpts)
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!"
For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways.
They will bear you up in their hands, that you do not strike your foot against a stone."

I don't quite know how to handle vs. 14-16, but do claim them for myself and do believe that I do and will continue see God's salvation working in me.

So, right now I'm sitting at Borders, kidless, and and enjoying every blessed quiet minute. Mommy rescue refers to the fact that this mama needed some rescuing. Emotional rescue, physical rescue  (from the diaper changing, the pulling, the tugging, the wrestling, the food prep, laundry, and you know the rest!), and spiritual rescue. Again I can say with conviction that God is enough for me. He made me, He saved me, He rescued me, He's my rock, my refuge, and I will rest in His loving arms and rely on His strength and inspiration to serve my family.

Meatloaf Recipe

This recipe was given to me by my good friend Katie. I wanted to share it, along with some ideas of different foods you can add and on how you can use this recipe in different ways.

Classic Meatloaf
3 Slices bread (the recipe calls for white, but we like to use our 8 grain Winco bread)
1/3 c milk
1 lb ground beef (you can use turkey pretty successfully)
1 lb ground pork
1/2 med onion, grated
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 large egg
1/2 c. ketsup, divided
salt & pepper

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line backing pan with foil or parchment paper. Make the bread crumbs (I use a small food processor) and drizzle milk over the crumbs. Soak for 10 minutes. Combine meat, onion, garlic, egg, 1/4 c ketsup, 1 1/2 tsp salt (I left this out in order to feed it to Johnathan and it tasted fine) 1/4 tsp pepper. Add bread and milk mixture, mix gently with a fork. Don't overmix. Form into a loaf about 9 inches long and 4-5 inches wide.

Bake, brushing twice with 1/4 c ketsup, until instant-read thermometer reads 160 degrees. Approx. 45-55 minutes. Rest 10 minutes before slicing.

I've used this recipe as a meatloaf recipe, but I've also turned this recipe into meatballs and hamburgers.

Things that you can add and play with:

• 1 c shredded sweet potato (light flesh, not orange)
• 1 red pepper, steamed and pureed (or just finely chopped)
• 1 TBSP worchestershire sauce
• 1 small yellow summer squash, shredded (or zucchini)
• finely chopped mushrooms

Enjoy, and let me know if any of you have some good additions!

Psalm 111

This is my new project. My goal is to memorize Ps. 111 in the next 10 days, at which point I will be done (that's my goal anyway) reading through the Psalms. There are many wonderful and powerful ones, but this one stood out to me as one that from beginning to end speaks of truth and praise.

PSALM 111

Praise the Lord!

I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart,

In the company of the upright and in the assembly.

Great are the works of the Lord;

They are studied by all who delight in them.

Splendid and majestic is His work,

And His righteousness endures forever.

He has made His wonders to be remembered;

The Lord is gracious and compassionate.

He has given food to those who fear Him;

He will remember His covenant forever.

He has made known to His people the power of His works,

In giving them the heritage of the nations.

The works of His hands are truth and justice;

All His precepts are sure.

They are upheld forever and ever;

They are performed in truth and uprightness.

He has sent redemption to His people;

He has ordained His covenant forever;

Holy and awesome is His name.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;

A good understanding have all those who do His commandments;

His praise endures forever.

Psalm 138, Veg. Chili, and Banana Flax Bread . . . have nothing in common. :)

Recently I've been struggling back and forth in an area I thought was no longer going to be an issue. Just like Johnathan is beginning to find out where the line is, my enemy has been looking for a chink in my armor! God has been faithful (yes, I was in fact NOT sleeping during Ladies Night Out yesterday!) in helping me discern reality from non-reality. This Psalm is the song of my heart today. As I wrote in an earlier blog, I read a book about going through transitions and how when we do that, our view of God gets upgraded in the process. Being proactive about seeking what that upgraded version looks like sometimes helps us avoid trials. Hmmmm. Maybe when I'm 50 this will be an easier thing to remember. Or not. :) For now, God is my truth, God is my Delight, my Satisfaction, my Comfort.

Ps. 138:1-3

I will give You thanks with all my heart;

I will sing praises to You before the gods.

I will bow down toward Your holy temple

And give thanks to Your name for Your

lovingkindness and Your truth;

For You have magnifiedYour word 

according to all Your name.

On the day I called, You answered me;

You made me bold with strength in my soul.

Pinto Bean Chili with Corn and Winter Squash

From Cooking Light Slow Cooker

1 Tbsp olive oil

1 1/2 c chopped onion

1 1/2 c chopped red (or yellow) green pepper

1 garlic clove, minced

2 Tbsp chili powder (I put 1 1/2, and 2 would not have been too hot)

1/2 tsp. ground cumin

4 c (1/2 inch) cubed peeled butternut squash (about 1 lb.)

2 (16 oz.) cans pinto beans

1 c. whole-kernal corn

1 tsp salt

1 (28 oz.) can crushed tomatoes

1 (4.5 oz) can chopped green chilies

Feta, or Queso Fresco (Mexican feta)

12 lime wedges

1. Heat oil in large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add onion, bell pepper, and garlic; color and cook for 5 minutes or until tender. Add chili powder and cumin; cook 1 minute, stirring constantly.

2. Place onion mixture in a 5-qt.  electric slow cooker. Add squash and next 6 ingredients. Cover and cook on LOW 8 hours or until chili is think. Ladle chili into bowls, sprinkle with cheese and serve with lime. Yield: 6 servings (serving size: 1 3/4 cups chili, 2 Tbsp cheese, 2 lime wedges)

Calories 319 (17% from fat); Fat 6.1 g (sat 2g. mono 2.5g, poly 1.3g); Protein 14.3g; Carb 56g; Fiber 12.7g; Chol 10mg; Iron 4.4mg; Sodium 862mg; Calc 255mg

We tried this last night, and boy was it great on a cold, fall day!

Flax Banana Bread

Bob's Red Mill

1 3/4 c white or whole wheat flour, or a combination of the two

3/4 flaxseed meal

3/4 c sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

2 eggs

1/3 c canola oil

2-3 med very ripe bananas (going to try pumpkin also!)

Topping: (I opted to not do the topping and just added cinnamon to the batter)

1/2 c chopped walnuts

1/4 c light brown sugar

1/2 tsp cinnamon

Preheat oven at 350 degrees. Spray bread pan with oil spray and set aside.

Mix together dry ingredients in large bowl. In smaller bowl mash the bananas, add the eggs and oil. Stir the wet ingredients into the dry and stir until just moistened. Pour into pan and add topping. Pat down firmly or swirl topping into batter with knife.

Bake 55-60 mintues (mine took 65 minutes)

Yield: 1 loaf, 20 slices (not mine!) :)

Calories 180, Calories from fat 80, Total fat 9g, Sat Fat 0.5g, Cholesterol 20 g, Sodium 11mg, Total Carbs 25g, Dietary Fiber 2g, Sugars 12g, and protein 4g.

"But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

I have been taken by the story found in John of the woman by the well. I've read it over and over and over again and it hits me every time. This Samaritan woman is living with a fifth man, is likely despised by the town she lives in, and she has probably spent most of her life searching for love in all the wrong places. I can relate to her! Sometimes I forget and look to food, to my husband or children, to entertainment, for love. It doesn't take very long for me to feel empty again. I love what Jesus tells the woman at the well, and I can picture his tone of voice, the look in his eyes, and the feeling inside of this woman when she realizes who this amazing man is! "Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life." It isn't at this point that she realizes who Jesus is, but this statement is so powerful, especially if you've experienced it. As I get out my Bible in the morning, I've started telling the Lord that I've come to the well to drink and to drink deeply. I love that picture of drinking from the well as I delight in what God has for me each day. It truly is what keeps me going. I hadn't sat down to write about this today. I read Psalm 73 today and LOVED the second half. It could stand alone, but with the first half has much more meaning. However, here is just the second half:

Psalm 73:23-28

Nevertheless I am continually with You;

You have taken hold of my right hand.

With Your counsel You will guide me,

And afterward receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but You?

And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;

You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You.

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;

I have made the Lord God my refuge,

That I may tell of all Your works.

I love that. "the nearness of God is my good." Indeed!

Scripture and Oatmeal Protein Bars

Psalm 40 – Excerpts

"I waited patiently for the Lord; 

And He inclined to me and heard my cry.

He brought me up out of the pit of destruction,

out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon

a rock making my footsteps firm.

He put a new song in my mouth, 

a song of praise to our God.

How blessed is the man who has 

made the Lord his trust.

Many, O Lord my God are the wonders

which You have done,

And Your thoughts toward us;

There is none to compare with You.

If I would declare and speak of them,

They would be too numerous to count.

I delight to do Your will, O my God;

Your Law is within my heart.

Let all who seek You rejoice 

and be glad in You;

Let those who love your 

salvation say continually,

'The Lord be magnified!'"

Oatmeal-Peanut Butter Trail Bars

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Stir the following 4 ingred. and set aside.

1/2 c whole wheat flour

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/8 tsp salt

In a large bowl, mix together the following 3 ingred.

1/2 c natural-style smooth peanut butter

1/2 c firmly packed brown sugar

1/3 c honey

Beat in:

1 egg + 2 egg whites,

then add 2 Tbsp canola oil

2 tsp vanilla extract

Stir in:

2 c oats

1 c dried cranberries

1/2 c dark chocolate chips (or more!)

1/2 c chopped walnuts or almonds

Lay down aluminum foil in 13x9 pan and spray with oil spray.

Spread mixture as evenly as possible. Bake for 20-25 minutes.

When mostly cooled, lift bars out of pan and cut into 24 bars.

Enjoy!

Per serving: 175 calories, 4 g protein, 24 g carbs,

2 g fiber, 8 g total fat, 1 g sat fat, 9 mg cholesterol,

68 g sodium

Is that what Quiet sounds like?

This last weekend I took a little trip into a different world than I normally reside. It was a remarkable difference. My purpose in leaving my family for 3 days was to retreat from the daily grind to be able to reestablish my ability to hear my Savior and to be reminded that it is Christ who fulfills me. This song, by Kathryn Scott, says it all.

Only You

No one, but you, Lord can satisfy this longing in my heart.

Nothing I do, Lord can take the place of drawing near to you.

Only You can fill my deepest longing.

Only you, can breathe in me, new life.

Only You can fill my heart with laughter.

Only You can answer my heart's cry.

It was wonderful to spend time in the Word with David in Psalms. David knew how to be transparent with God, and he also had a right perspective of who God is, and who he was.

I also spent time reading the book, The Nature of God by Graham Cooke. The focus of this book is our view of God, and how each new phase in our life requires us to "upgrade" our view of God, and who God is to us. Here is a quote that really spoke to me:

"God wants to declare what He is becoming to you. Like Moses (Exodus 33, 34), you have fresh favor to ask Him to go deeper. God is the sneakiest Person on the planet. You cannot have a desire for Him that is unmatched by His desire for you. In fact, if you really want to know where you are with God, check out what is in your own heart. What are you signing about right now? During those times you sit in the presence of God and your heart sighs for Him, what is it you are sighing for? Understand that your sigh originated in His heart. It is His longing for you, reaching out to you!

When you understand what it is your spirit is sighing for, you will understand exactly what He wants to do. You cannot have a desire or longing for God that He did not put there. Your heart for Him is simply a reflection of His heart for you; God has us longing for the things He most wants to give us."

It is pretty overwhelming to think that God knows us so intimately and desires to be everything we need, without us even knowing what it is that we need! On top of this, He reveals it to us in a way that means something to us. The God that I serve is truly an incredible God.

Over the last week I've been able to establish a good quiet time routine, and found this to be true, "The antidote to stress and crisis is upgrading our fellowship with God." (Graham Cooke) What a difference in my days to begin them spending time in His presence. He truly is my Prince of Peace!!! You need that when the rest of the day is filled with constant demands!

Something else that came out of the weekend was direction in an area that I've been floundering in a little. How refreshing to be taught by the Lord! He truly is my Wonderful Counselor. He then reminded me of Ps. 37, which quickly became my new theme "song."

In a different direction, something that has happened every time I've gone away, is a new schedule. Stepping away from reality has a way of giving perspective. The most revolutionary thing that happened to my schedule, was that I'm able to clean my whole house during the week, just one or two chores at a time. This does not include the daily grind kind of chores, and it also doesn't include the deep cleaning kind of chores. It sure is easier to do than doing everything at once when I'm at my wits end!

I'm so thankful to the Lord for this weekend, for the renewed strength to serve Him, my husband and children, and to experience all that God wants to be for me.