Mommy Rescue!!

WARNING: RANDOM!
Honesty. I have always had a hard time being honest with myself, and others. I was going to write, not lying, but then I realized that yes, I do have trouble with lying, although not the kind of lying you're thinking about! I'm such a typical people pleaser that it is  hard for me to want to do anything other than take what people give me and return it with pleasantness (at least on the outside!). I feel like quite the push-over sometimes. More than anything I want my home and relationships to be full of peace, pleasantness, tranquility, and harmony. Recently I had a couple girlfriends over and one of them told the other that she was basking in my tranquility (she'd had a particularly hard day). This is a good thing, except for the fact that I often ignore the signals within that say, "Red alert, red alert! That was painful! Say you didn't like that!" Ignoring those signals plants a seed of resentment that grow into something like the Veggie Tales rumor weed. Big, ugly, obnoxious, and with roots that are deep and established. Recently I've become very overwhelmed with life. I will spare you the details, for they are inconsequential. I have come to a point, however, that I realize that I need to take a closer look at what I'm doing in the day to day, evaluate my motives and who I'm doing it for, and should they be doing it for themselves. Just in the last few days as I've been doing this, I've pulled back from a few responsibilities that I've placed upon myself, and the freedom is coming, I can tell. I'm not out from under the load yet, but it's coming. This is more mental than I think I give it credit. I've been so intent lately on being super mom, wife, homemaker, that the fun has been stripped away. Yuck! THE END!

I love how the Israelites have the heritage they do in the feasts. What a rich tapestry of tradition, that when Christ is at the center, is so meaningful! I want my life to be a reflection of Christ's death, burial, and resurrection, and taking a look at my attitude this last week, you wouldn't see that. You'd see the law. Ewww!

4 years ago today I had an amazing experience. I'd been going through an extremely rough time in my life. Lots of emotional pain, on top of more emotional pain. I was plagued with feelings of rejection, guilt, of self-pity, I felt unloved and unworthy. I grew up in a Christian home and believed that when I accepted Christ at age 4 that the deal was sealed, but my faith wasn't truly my own until this experience. It was in the evening that I went with a friend to a very small gathering of believers, and the purpose was simply to bask in His presence, to worship, and to encourage one another. That night I feel like I truly met with Christ and He showed me, through the remembrance of His precious Word that He had died so that I could live FREE from the burden I was carrying around. The chains that were holding me down were in fact loose and could easily be take off. SO incredible. It was then that I began to grow, and grow, and grow. God drew me closer and closer to Himself during the next weeks and months. That rough patch was turned from an experience that was dragging me down, into a growing experience. I've learned so much about God's character and and about His desire to be enough for me and my every need. I still am still dealing with all of the same circumstances, 4 years later, and feel like the enemy still has the potential to drag me down. This week is a good example of that!!! Tonight I celebrate though! I celebrate in the face of my enemy!  I celebrate Christ's victory! I've been reading through the Psalms this month, and one that I read today fit me perfectly and have me words to say in my celebration!

Psalm 91 (exerpts)
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!"
For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

For He will give His angels charge concerning you, to guard you in all your ways.
They will bear you up in their hands, that you do not strike your foot against a stone."

I don't quite know how to handle vs. 14-16, but do claim them for myself and do believe that I do and will continue see God's salvation working in me.

So, right now I'm sitting at Borders, kidless, and and enjoying every blessed quiet minute. Mommy rescue refers to the fact that this mama needed some rescuing. Emotional rescue, physical rescue  (from the diaper changing, the pulling, the tugging, the wrestling, the food prep, laundry, and you know the rest!), and spiritual rescue. Again I can say with conviction that God is enough for me. He made me, He saved me, He rescued me, He's my rock, my refuge, and I will rest in His loving arms and rely on His strength and inspiration to serve my family.